Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Average All Star of the Week - NFL Week 2 Edition


For his mediocre efforts in the Cardinals' 48-23 win over the Bears, Arizona RB Chris Johnson has been named the NFL Average All Star of the Week (NFLAASOTW). Starting in place of the injured Andre Ellington, Johnson stepped in a tepid way by gaining 72 yards on 20 carries. He was also targeted once in the passing game, but sadly did not make the grab. In his post game interview he went on to say, "I watched 'A Goofy Movie' for the first time in awhile on Saturday night and forgot how silly of a movie that was. Before taking each of my 20 carries, I had a smile on my face thinking of how crazy and fun Goofy is. It made me realize this is just a game and life should not be taken so seriously all of the time." Chris Johnson and the Cardinals moved to 2-0 with the win.

Friday, September 18, 2015

Week 2 Fantasy Rundown



After cooling down from last week's hot takes, I have decided to do some more of the same this week. For Week 2, I will be making predictions based on each upcoming matchup this Sunday and Monday. Let's get down to it....

Texans @ Panthers

In this Super Bowl 50 preview matchup, I think Greg Olsen puts up over 20 points in standard league formats. The Texans struggled to cover Travis Kelce last week, and it doesn't get any easier for them in Week 2. Look for Olsen to get on track with about 80 yards and two scores. 
The Houston offense should see a slight upgrade with Ryan Mallett at QB, but nobody except for DeAndre Hopkins should be in your lineup from this team. Arian Foster can't get back soon enough for them. They have gone 2-14 in games without him versus a 33-20 record in games in which he gets at least one carry.

49ers @ Steelers

It is unrealistic for one to expect Carlos Hyde to replicate his Week 1 performance throughout the whole season, but he should have no problem against a brutal Pittsburgh defense. Hyde tallying a score with over 100 yards should be very attainable. The Niners shut down a below-average offense in the Vikings, but the various offseason losses will hurt them in this matchup. 
Antonio Brown will continue to be the most dependable WR in fantasy, and will have no problem reeling in double-digit catches. However, DeAngelo Williams will come back down to earth after his solid Week 1 showing.

Buccaneers @ Saints

The good news for Bucs fans (and fantasy owners) is that Mike Evans looks to be good to go in Week 2. The return of Evans makes Jameis Winston a sneaky play against the weak New Orleans defensive unit in daily fantasy leagues. 
Brandin Cooks was picked early in most drafts (Average: 14th WR taken, 40th overall in ESPN leagues), and his tepid 4 catch, 49 yard performance probably had owners worried. Those worries will be thrown to the side after Week 2 against the Buccaneers and their terrible secondary. Cooks is the guy in New Orleans, and anyone who is a #1 WR with Drew Brees is going to accumulate monster numbers.

Lions @ Vikings

The long awaited return of Adrian Peterson was a major letdown to those who took him with their first round pick. I wouldn't worry too much about it since the Vikings were playing from behind for the whole contest. I would still hand the ball off to Purple Jesus no matter what the score was, but I am also not a NFL coach. Against a diminished Lions defense, Adrian Peterson should get back to his normal self. 
If I were a Calvin Johnson owner, I would be a little worried about his 4 targets in Week 1. Golden Tate has a great 2014 season, and perhaps his chemistry with Stafford has grown to the point where he is the new go-to guy for them.

Cardinals @ Bears

If healthy, Carson Palmer is a top 5-10 fantasy quarterback. The numbers don't lie with 279 yards/game and 30 TDs over his last 16 starts (More importantly, a 14-2 record). Palmer and his main targets John Brown and Larry Fitzgerald are good plays for both season-long and daily fantasy match ups in Week 2 against Chicago. Michael Floyd and his nagging injuries do make me hesitant to play him. The great CJ2K is slated to start this week, but I'm staying away as it is likely he struggles early and his carries get taken away by David Johnson.
Matt Forte would be a MVP candidate if he were on a playoff team. He looked as good as ever in Week 1 and remains a must-start. I do see the Cardinals running away with this one, so expect Alshon Jeffrey to clean up in garbage time.

Patriots @ Bills

The Bills have been running their mouths to the media this week. Any Patriots fan will tell you that is a bad idea for other teams to do. Expect Tom Brady and his teammates to come out of the gates fast, and remind everyone who has been running their division forever. The Bills have only surrendered 3 touchdowns to Tight Ends since the beginning of last year, but Gronk will surely add to that total.
From a purely football standpoint, Tyrod Taylor had a great Week 1 showing. From a fantasy football standpoint, he was just decent. Expect him to put up better numbers mainly because the Bills jumped out to a huge lead early in the game against the Colts. This game should be close throughout, and Taylor should get plenty of more opportunities to throw the rock. It doesn't look too good for LeSean McCoy owners this week, so pick up Karlos Williams if you can. 

Chargers @ Bengals

For those who took Melvin Gordon in their drafts (Like myself), Week 1 was very frustrating for you. Danny Woodhead took away all of the red zone carries, Gordon had a fantastic touchdown run called back, and he also fumbled later in the game. Not all hope should be lost as it should be reiterated that the Chargers used a first-round pick on this guy. I believe he will see more carries in the future, but for now Woodhead is the guy you want in fantasy. Keenan Allen bounced back from his sophomore slump in a big way last week, but will face a much bigger challenge from the Bengals secondary.
Another frustrating thing for my team last week was seeing what was once AJ Green's red zone looks being given to Tyler Eifert. Green will always be Dalton's guy, but there is no doubt Eifert is primed for a big year. AJ will still get the majority of the targets this season, but it would be no surprise if his normal touchdown numbers go down.

Titans @ Browns

Marcus Mariota put together one of the best rookie QB debuts the league has ever seen in Week 1. While it is not fair to expect similar numbers (mainly his 4 TD passes), he still only threw 16 passes. That number will go way up this week in what should be a closer matchup against an above average defense. Joe Haden will keep Kendall Wright in check, so Delanie Walker will be the Titan to keep an eye on in this contest.
Johnny Football was named the starter for Week 2 in Cleveland. While the big plays are certainly possible, the multiple turnovers can't be ignored. What makes Manziel an interesting fantasy play for me is his ability to run. If you're feeling lucky, there is probably no better candidate for a cheap play in daily fantasy at QB.

Falcons @ Giants

Julio Jones made a gigantic statement on MNF. He is perhaps the best WR in fantasy and real football due to his combination of QB and physical tools. I expect this game to be a shootout, and Julio Jones will once again feast. Tevin Coleman looked very dependable in Week 1 for the Falcons, and those who took him in later rounds had to have been pleased with what they saw from the rookie.
The Giants have already found themselves in the NY media doghouse, but one thing I have learned is that Eli and Coughlin perform best when they are doubted. Eli Manning should have a huge day, and the connection he found with Odell Beckham Jr last year will be seen again in Week 2. If I had to choose any back to play from NY, it would be Shane Vereen due to the likelihood of a pass-happy game between these two teams.

Rams @ Redskins

The Rams provided the biggest surprise of Week 1 by defeating the Seahawks, but anybody who watched it will tell you that they are a legit team. Their defense played extremely well, and should be ranked #1 for this week's match ups. While their variety of options on offense is a good thing for them in real football, it is a downfall for fantasy football. Tavon Austin provides big-play ability in Special Teams, but can't be relied on a week-to-week basis. All three backs are solid (Cunningham, Mason, and soon Gurley), but I wouldn't play one until one of them wins the job outright. Todd Gurley will eventually be that guy to win the job, but it is anyone's guess as to when that happens.
Alfred Morris has been one of the most dependable backs in fantasy over the last few years, but it is hard to trust him against this Rams defense that kept Marshawn Lynch in check. With DeSean Jackson out, there is absolutely no reason for you to be starting anyone else from Washington.

Dolphins @ Jaguars

One of my hot takes was that Lamar Miller would be in the running for Fantasy MVP in 2015. That did not get off to an ideal start in Week 1, but I expect him to explode in Week 2 against the Jags. In a game that the Dolphins should handle easily, Miller should get plenty of more opportunities to make plays in this matchup. 
TJ Yeldon showed promise in his rookie debut for Jacksonville, but he has been placed in an unfortunate situation. His offensive line isn't great, and his QB is more concerned with what the fans are saying about him than his own performance. If the Jaguars were capable of producing more first-downs and creating more red zone opportunities, Yeldon would be a premier option at RB. That will not happen in Week 2 against a very good Miami defensive line.

Ravens @ Raiders

Joe Flacco came out of the gates ice cold in 2015, but he has a great opportunity to put that in the past against the Raiders in Week 2. The Raiders defense wasn't strong to begin with, but injuries to Nate Allen and Charles Woodson only make things worse for them. Flacco will be in playoff Flacco form. The Oakland offense will be giving the ball back to Baltimore very often in the form of 3 and outs and turnovers, so plenty of Ravens will be good fantasy plays this week.
Derek Carr's injury is not supposed to keep him out of this week, and that is great news for Amari Cooper owners (Terrible news for Matt McGloin owners). As someone who drafted Cooper, I am expecting him to tally up big numbers at the end of this contest which should see the Raiders trailing big time in the 4th quarter.

Cowboys @ Eagles

Although Tony Romo stepped up big time after Dez Bryant went down in Week 1, he will feel the loss in a significant way in Week 2. While he should not be benched in your lineup, he will not maintain last weeks performance (356 yards, 3 TDs) throughout Bryant's absence. Dez being out does provide the most value to Jason Witten owners. Cole Beasley and Terrance Williams are players to buy low on in both daily and regular leagues.
Sam Bradford looked like his preseason-self in the second half of Monday night's contest with the Falcons. His interception in the 4th was due to a dropped pass, and he strung together an impressive streak of completions at one point. Although he will not throw 52 passes each week, his usage will be high in Chip Kelly's offense. DeMarco Murray, against his old squad, should get much more than the 8 carries he saw last week. However, the explosiveness that Darren Sproles should not be ignored when factoring into Murray's usage.

Seahawks @ Packers

It is hard to imagine the Seahawks starting off at 0-2, but it is entirely possible due to this matchup. The Packers did not do a good job in stopping Matt Forte, so expect Marshawn Lynch to return to his dominant ways. The Packers have always struggled against mobile quarterbacks, so Russell Wilson should be primed for a big day at Lambeau.
With Kam Chancellor out, the Seattle secondary gave up nearly 300 yards to Nick Foles. It is scary to imagine what Aaron Rodgers will do to them on Sunday Night. I know Rodgers struggled mightily against Seattle in both contests last season, but him and the rest of the  Packers offense should be in for a good night at their home field.

Jets @ Colts

The Jets offense had themselves a very good showing in Week 1 against the Browns. The Colts defense is not on the same level as Cleveland's, so another solid showing will be in store for Fitzpatrick and friends. Chris Ivory is a high-level RB2 with this offense and is going to provide great value for his draft stock (ESPN ADP of 64.2 overall/23rd for RBs). Ryan Fitzpatrick is a very good play for this week on the road in daily fantasy leagues if you are looking for a more affordable option.
The Bills defense looked like the real deal, so there should be no shame for the Colts' underwhelming Week 1 performance. The Jets defense is a very respectable unit as well, but it is hard to imagine that the Colts offense does not get back on track on Monday Night. I would stay away from anyone involved in their running game this week, but their aerial attack will not see similar struggles. If T.Y. Hilton sits, Donte Moncrief is a must start in both daily and season-long leagues. It looks like Andre Johnson may be stuck on Revis Island, so that would make Dwayne Allen a solid play along with Moncrief this week.




Friday, September 11, 2015

25 Fantasy Football Hot Takes For 2015



With one game in the books for the 2015 NFL season, we were reminded of a few things. First being that Tom Brady is pretty good at football. Brady was on a mission last night to put all of the offseason's circus behind him with a MVP-caliber performance. We were also reminded of the incomparable pass-catching talents of Rob Gronkowski and Antonio Brown. Both players are deservingly being the first players taken at their respective positions in fantasy drafts across the Sports Nerds World. 

For people like myself, the sad feeling caused by the end of the summer season is only cured by the arrival of the NFL season. The Lombardi trophy is up for grabs again between the 32 NFL teams (except the Redskins), and we can all look forward to melting into our couches each Sunday for the next few months. Without further ado, here are the hottest of takes for the upcoming fantasy football season....

1. My bold and completely unbiased prediction for fantasy MVP this season is Tom Brady (Lamar Miller as runner-up).
2. My not-so-bold prediction for fantasy MVP is Andrew Luck.
3. Amari Cooper will finish as a top 5 WR.



4. Rob Gronkowski will break Randy Moss' receiving TD record (23) this season.
5. The top 5 QB's in order will be Luck, Brady, Rodgers, Wilson, and.......Bradford.
6. Last year was the Year of the WR, but this year rookie RBs will thrive as 4 rookies will finish in the top 20.
7. Anybody in a PPR league that didn't take Antonio Brown number one overall made a huge mistake. He will break Marvin Harrison's record for receptions in a single season (143). 
8. The New York Jets offense will be very good this season. I can't believe I just typed that.
9. Nobody will dominate garbage time quite like Alshon Jeffrey this year. His garbage time prowess will help propel him into the top 10 for WR's.
10. This will be the first season that Andre Johnson will record double-digit receiving touchdowns.



11. Cameron Artis-Payne is definitely worth drafting with your late-round pick.
12. Jeremy Maclin will have an even better season this year than last year's season which saw him finish inside the top 10 for his position.
13. Frank Gore will join Emmitt Smith and Ricky Williams as the only backs to rush for more than 1,000 yards after turning 32 years old.
14. Eli Manning will greatly outscore big brother Peyton in 2015.
15. Even at age 36, Steve Smith will eclipse 85 catches and 1,000 yards.


16. Nobody has ever had over 2,000 receiving yards in a season. Julio Jones will be the first to do it.
17. Late-round TE's Tyler Eifert, Kyle Rudolph, and Josh Hill will all finish in the top 8 at their position. They are all also going to be 25 years old this season.
18. Given his ADP, people are forgetting how talented Sammy Watkins really is. Tyrod Taylor will be more than capable of getting him the ball.
19. The only cuffs really worth having for top RB's are Knile Davis and Ronnie Hillman.
20. Marques Colston will return to being a top-level fantasy WR in '15.
21. Dorial Green-Beckham will be a top 25 WR in the second half of the season.
22. Danny Woodhead will have over 80 receptions this year.


23. Vernon Davis will return to being a top 10 TE.
24. Davante Adams is currently the 24th WR being drafted in ESPN fantasy leagues, but he will finish outside the top 45 for wideouts this season.
25. Cam Newton will finish outside the top 18 for QB's.

I hope these takes weren't too hot for all of you. Remember to go with your gut and never take a defense or kicker before your last two rounds. Best of luck to you fantasy degenerates.




Thursday, August 6, 2015

Average All Star Of The Day (8/5/15) - Yonder Alonso


In Yesterday's 8-5 loss to the Brewers, San Diego Padres first basement Yonder Alonso turned in a dangerously tepid performance. Alonso, a product of The U, went 1-4 with a double off starter Taylor Jungmann and also scored a run. He struck out once and left a total of 3 runners stranded on base. He credits his performance to his pre-game viewing of the Vacation movie remake at a local theatre. "Ed Helms was truly underwhelming in his lead role in the film, and I thought it would be neat to do the same type of thing today at the dish. Though I did love him as Andy in The Office," Alonso said. The Padres are now 52-56 this season.

Return of The King



The recent news of our King, Vin Baker, making a comeback in the form of Starbucks management was all I needed to hear for me to get back on the blogging grind. Vin Baker is now working right near me. You can't script this any better, folks. I have never been a coffee guy, but you better believe that has changed now. If anyone wants to find me, I will now be making daily appearances at this North Kingstown Starbucks. VinBakersDeli is going to be back and better than ever. Expect hard-hitting, completely unbiased sports coverage including game recaps, fantasy football rankings, and Average All Stars of the day. 




Monday, May 11, 2015

Goodell Replaced by Potato


In a move made on late Monday night, the NFL has decided to officially part ways with Commissioner Roger Goodell. Sources believe the move was made likely because of Goodell's mishandling of various disciplinary issues. A statement from the NFL said, "We are very appreciative of the time and effort Mr. Goodell put towards our league. However, the decision made tonight is what is best for the future well-being of the National Football League."

Shortly after Goodell was let go, it was announced that he would be replaced by a potato.  Director of Football Development Matt Birk called the move "necessary" and had nothing but positive things to say about the change, "This isn't just some ordinary potato we got here. It is one straight from Idaho, so you know it's the real deal. We look forward to seeing where the potato will take us as the leader of America's favorite sport." 

The potato could not be reached for comment because it is a potato.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Indianapolis Colts Demand NFL to Give Out Participation Trophies


Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay announced early Thursday morning that he has started the movement towards giving each NFL player a Participation Trophy at the conclusion of each NFL season. Said Irsay, "I'm sure I echo the thoughts of many other owners when I say that our team has worked too gosh darn hard to go home empty handed at the end of each season." Reports state that Irsay knocked on Commissioner Roger Goodell's office door for three straight hours before he could talk about the Participation Trophy dilemma.


(Above is the first of many trophy designs proposed by Irsay)


In a press conference, Commissioner Goodell stated that "Mr. Irsay made some pretty solid points in favor of handing out those trophies. Nobody can look me in the eye and tell me a guy like Coby Fleener, someone who works his tail off each day in practice, shouldn't be taking home some hardware at the end of the day." While discussions about switching the league from tackle to flag football were put on the back burner in the meeting between Irsay and Goodell, the NFL is expected to implement the Participation Trophy idea at the end of the upcoming 2015 season.